Last night my brother and I were accosted by the journalistic jackals of Channel Nine's A Current Affair. They stalked us down in a shopping centre car park, shone a bright light at us, and asked our opinion of the extra hidden charges that we as consumers have to face every day. We asked exactly what charges they were referring to. The interviewer said, “You know, like the extra buck-fifty for ordering a half-and-half pizza.”
Well, Dave and I lurched backwards. There were stones in our stomachs. We suddenly realized how far the sweet and innocent system had fallen and we saw our chance to make a difference. We knew we needed to stand up in front of that camera like real men and show the people of Australia that this was just not on. We started with a few curt words directed at big business on behalf of Joe Average Battler. This built into a heated tirade of buyers discontent which quickly swerved into a frenzy of disgruntled consumerism; all of which culminated in us destroying the windscreen of our own car with an abandoned shopping trolley.
The red mist cleared and we noticed that amid our rabid show of dissatisfaction the camera crew had scattered. We surveyed the damage and climbed back into our car. Not another word was spoken on the breezy drive home for we knew deep down inside that we had failed. The seductive offer of landing a massive blow to big business had gone straight to our heads. A little more self control and we could have made a difference. As it stood however, my brother and I just looked like two self destructive lunatics with a pizza fixation; and it would be there for all to see on national television.