I saw a guy wearing a pair of those sunglasses with the built-in music player today. You know, the ones with the ear buds hanging down from the moulded arms like tiny plastic fruit bats. They are the only pair I have seen in the wild. Was the guy wearing them as some kind of joke?
I had to wonder.
Maybe if they changed the design more people would wear them. Maybe they could put music players into large black motorcycle helmets. You know, the ones with the black visors that look like you have a bowling ball for a head. If they invented those we could all walk around like ronin from some dystopian future. You know, starting blood wars and turf battles because our bowling ball-crippled peripheral vision makes us constantly trip over each other in the street, thereby losing our footing and our honour.
We could head butt each other to the sounds of Burt Bacharach.
We could katana-cut arms off while listening to Dave Brubeck.
We could bungee-dive from the edges of ruined bridges and skyscrapers while jacked into The Traveling Wilburys.
Oh what a future that would be.